About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
Year 7, Day 27: I’ve got maybe 3 months left. I’ve calculated the PTO to be earned and, if the math is right, I’ll have 3 weeks to add to the severance runway. Did the same for my sick time and am booking off large chunks of that before the end. After the severance and PTO run out, we have 14 months, or 12 months (plus some healthcare, some house maintenance and no dog), in liquid funds. We have an ok amount of time after my severance runs out if my job search is as bad as, or worse than, the last one.
Using the same conservative monthly amount (covers needs, a few wants) to break down all our major assets, we have 12 years of spending in the brokerage and 13 years of retirement savings. Emergencies, large home repairs and other things of that nature would shorten that timeline. If the retirement savings grows minimally (3%) between now and 2036, that stretches to 21 years of monthly bills. That’s a super simplistic view, of course, and intentionally so. I needed a very basic framework to share with JB because they started worrying about losing our home if I don’t have a job anymore. I’d previously said we could pay off the house, which we could, but I found that being able to say “Even without a job, I have our bills covered for 25 years” gives them a more concrete way to understand they don’t need to worry. I don’t feel like I got this because 25 years doesn’t cover retirement (intentional or not) but the breakdown gives me a place to set my feet when I tell them not to worry.
Year 7, Day 28: The fog is hovering so low this week, it feels like we’re wrapped in winter. The pumpkin plants and the one sugar snap pea plant have been sitting outside sheltering in a bucket for five days and nights and seem to be thriving despite the wind and fog so they might be ready to put into the container. Not sure when I will be ready to put them in, though. Definitely not today. My body is giving me a warning buzz that if I do much physically, I’m going to crash. Yesterday was a high-energy expenditure day, so this isn’t a huge surprise. This does cast a bit of a pall on my job-hunting. Everything I read turns into an “I could do that, I have done that, I don’t want to do that all over again”. I’m so tired.
I did an hour of research looking up all the bits and pieces of legalese that I don’t know enough about to agree to, still waiting on the lawyers I’ve reached out to for some replies. Did a volunteer job training and then a task that I trained for. Submitted some FSA claims. Researched candidates for the upcoming primary. I’m in a pickle where I don’t like either of the candidates that I have to pick between so it’s a matter of choosing the lesser evil.
Year 7, Day 29: One of my crow friends showed up solo today, they’re usually in pairs, and landed right on the driveway waiting for treats! They have never done that before! That was a bit of a delight. They even stayed there while I rolled treats to them. So far, only the ravens have been this bold. The crows usually stay up high on street lamps or the roof or the car and wait til I set down treats and walk away. They show a decided preference for dog treats, too, peanuts will be eaten but last. Actually, is that right? Maybe they’re saving the best for last? Do crows do that?
Bigger picture thoughts: We’re not planning to sell the house or move, we’re happy where we are, so that’s not in the plans for the short or medium term. Prices are so high here that we couldn’t make an even trade. We’d have to plan to leave the area, or the state entirely, if we wanted to sell and keep any money. The idea of having to pack, move, unpack and rebuild community all over again is more than exhausting. I’m not good at it!
Year 7, Day 30: It’s deeply irritating to see billionaires fined for anything less than $999M for crimes. Anything less than that is the equivalent of them waving off a gnat! What’s the point?
I now maintain three budgets simultaneously: 2026 with my layoff (real); 2027 with my layoff (real); and 2027 (projected worst case with loss of 2 incomes). This gives me a place to project costs in both scenarios and to know what I can and can’t do with our money. I realized last night that I had added unemployment income but not healthcare costs to the 2027WC, so I’ve added a $2500 monthly expense using an employer estimate of the cost of COBRA for now. That year I’ll need 9 months of saved cash to clear all our bills.
That makes it ok to buy one large callable CD at 4.1% for 18 months right now to earn $500 over the expected 3.1% in the savings account where it’s sitting. I usually buy non-callable CDs but it’s worth buying the callable one now for the slightly higher interest rate for however long it last. Our remaining cash will stay put until we see what’s what. I’m keeping an eye out for other ways to earn extra $500s and more.
Year 7, Day 31: Today’s worries: I’ll need a job again in a year and there won’t be any kind of job worth doing and definitely not paying well enough for the effort.
6 months of severance won’t keep us afloat long enough. (So I’ve decided to negotiate for more after all, the worst that can happen is they say no. Maybe they’ll agree to half of what I’m asking for. Who knows.)
I’m afraid that things won’t come together in 6 months, or 12 months, or 18 months and I’ll have to figure out something while at the end of my tether instead of making this a time to rest and recuperate and then stepping gracefully into a new good growth period like this one turned out to be after the last recession / layoff.
But. I’ve done a thing! Ordered samples to QC whether this staff thank you gift idea is good quality, made a list of who I’d need to hand deliver their gifts to in order to save on shipping costs, run shipping estimates for the people who live too far away and must have shipping. I’ve plotted out a timeline for ordering and delivering all the gifts.
If the quality is good enough, this is going to run something like $700 for the whole team? I hope not more than that. For now while I wait, I write out cards. That’s the hardest part.
1. Annorlunda Books is back to publish another book by @asakiyume.bsky.social!
2. I’ve been appreciating all the cute animals that Instagram has been serving me even if I’m still baffled why it won’t just show me the people I actually follow.
4. I treated JB and myself to a local conveyor belt sushi dinner which was both cheaper than if we’d tried to feed the whole family and much more fun than if we’d had SmolAc along as they are famously a giant pain in the patootie when it comes to every possible fun dining experience.
Year 7, Day 22:Butts. Home insurance and earthquake insurance are due this week. That takes the shine off my win against Comcast – they had several outages and I got them to credit my account $20 though they tried to put me off after $5. Our credit card bills were temporarily sky-high this month thanks to JB’s surgery and SmolAc’s party that we’d planned well before this layoff happened (sigh). I considered cancelling it but it didn’t make sense to cancel the only party of this kind that they’re going to get. We don’t do big parties yearly.
I’ve been saving cash gifts for the kids to use in their futures, outside the 529. I didn’t want to lock ALL their future money into that one vehicle, they’ll need to pay for necessities at some point, too. Finally decided to put that money in a short term CD for now to grow it a bit more. That buys me some time between now and CD maturity to make a decision on where it should grow next.
Year 7, Day 23: Struggling with feeling like a failure today. It’s not just because I received the first of what may be many rejections to job applications, this was one that I absolutely expected. Knowing it was coming doesn’t seem to shield against the sadness that comes with the slog. My inability to envision a path into the future now is also tough. I agree that there are no future proofed jobs, and the world is more unpredictable than ever. There should be some comfort in knowing this mess (both the work and the world) isn’t about me but right now it all feels like it’s too much and hopeless.
It’s a sad work or “work” as the day goes on from bed kind of day. I’ve built up my pillow fort and thrown my Oodie on top and snuggled in to do what I can. This week’s focus has been negotiating the agreement of what we will commit to doing before departure and trying to find and close every possible loophole.
Year 7, Day 24: I’ve never stopped doing my little points earnings things: MyPoints, Swagbucks, Bing, Evidation, Fetch, Ibotta, MrRebates, Rakuten (still want to call them ebates out of long habit). They are each the tiniest of drops of money but where they had become gravy with two good incomes, there’s a new (returned?) sense of urgency to tick all the boxes to supplement the soon to be dwindling income with every possible penny.
My friend who is currently out of a job is as unconcerned as I am concerned. I have never had her outlook on life, or the supports that allow her to develop that outlook. But I’m trying to inch my way towards the happy medium between the two of us. It’s an excruciatingly slow process. My amygdala is screeching all the time, the only change is in volume. My efforts to take deep cleansing breaths and leave the screeching in the background is not aided in any way by the bleakness of job market.
Year 7, Day 25: Holy unexpected price drop, Batman, our car registration went down $62 this year. That feels like the only bill that’s gone down, what a savings. Feel free to imitate the … uh, DMV … other bills!
I’m sad today. I can get out of bed today, yesterday I mostly needed to stay in bed, but I’m sad that I finally hit a milestone salary only for it to be ripped away. I’m sad that I had my own 401K for only a very short time (though glad I did max it out every chance I got). I’m sad that I had my own FSA for such a short amount of time when I’m the person who uses the bulk of the account(s). All of this makes me feel like a burden and a failure. Losing my whole income means that I have to pull back on direct aid, that makes me feel like garbage. I know I have to put my oxygen mask on first and I also know some folks are living on such slim margins that stopping my help will likely make a measurable negative difference.
Things I will not miss: the bureaucratic stupidity with which every section of this company was run. The stupidity and laziness of the HR department which has screwed up payroll a dozen times, caused distress and frustration with regular HR questions and with this entire layoff.
Year 7, Day 26: Moments of TV levity. Elementary, when Joan takes Sherlock to task for using the memory of Moriarty as an excuse not to move on with his romantic life and he realizes she’s angry with him. He says “Watson?” in such a pleading tone.
JB asked me last night if there’s any chance we would lose the house and have to move because of my losing my job.
I hadn’t thought about that but they were so anxious about the unknowns that I did the quick math. Accounting for cap gains taxes, 1.2 times the amount we still owe. I have a little more than twice that amount in just my regular brokerages without touching any retirement savings. I wouldn’t because it doesn’t make sense to liquidate for the full amount but I COULD. So that’s a point of anxiety relief for them and a useful data point for my own anxiety.
1. For Mother’s Day we enjoyed a trip to the shelter and to the local reuse center. It was deeply satisfying to find expensive office supplies for cheap (saving at least $45 on address labels), and then at checkout I paid for a lady’s stuff for her kid when she didn’t have cash on hand and wasn’t buying enough to use her CC. I’ve been caught out cashless before so I told the guy to just add it to our order. She was shocked but it was only $2! And it’s fun to randomly help a person out.
2. We took the kids to the zoo and decided, at $9/ticket, only three of us would ride the train. This was really SmolAc’s burning desire. We’d have sent the two kids without us but SmolAc is still short enough that they are required to ride with an adult. We’re being a little bit penny-pinching where it seems appropriate. In the end the tickets were discounted to $7 because we’re zoo members this year ($21).
Then the conductor waved PiC on free so all four of us rode! Completely unasked for, and unexpected, but very nice and totally appreciated to have that bit of fun together.
I’m looking up capital gains tax rates in case we get to the point of needing to sell off assets to make up the income gap without my job.
Looks like the tax on cap gains are determined by overall taxable income. Since we still have PiC’s income for the moment, I’ll plan on a 15% tax. Better to plan for that and be pleasantly surprised should we NOT meet the minimum threshold than the other way around:
A capital gains rate of 15% applies if your taxable income is:
more than $48,350 but less than or equal to $533,400 for single;
more than $48,350 but less than or equal to $300,000 for married filing separately;
more than $96,700 but less than or equal to $600,050 for married filing jointly and qualifying surviving spouse; and
more than $64,750 but less than or equal to $566,700 for head of household.
We won’t exceed the thresholds to get into the 20% rate and we don’t have any reason to trigger the exceptions:
– The taxable part of a gain from selling section 1202 qualified small business stock is taxed at a maximum 28% rate.
– Net capital gains from selling collectibles (such as coins or art) are taxed at a maximum 28% rate.
– The portion of any unrecaptured section 1250 gain from selling section 1250 real property is taxed at a maximum 25% rate.
Short-term capital gains are taxed as ordinary income so we’ll only sell off older stocks, bonds, and mutual funds first.
Year 7, Day 15: I wanted to try this roasted cauliflower recipe from Smitten Kitchen but we only had florets and no pumpkin seeds, so I accidentally overroasted the cut florets instead. Whoops. SmolAc claimed to love it, though, so we’ll try again tomorrow with a much shorter bake time.
It was a real mental slog today with the layoff-with-no-information still plaguing everyone. We still need the necessary information to make decisions, like say, LAST DAYS, and we’re *shocker* being strung along. Still. I had a medium chat of commiseration with my colleague who feels as despondent as I do today. They responded to my feelings of failure using my own words from last week which, ok, fine, fair play. We did the best that we could with the information that we had. For all that I regret not foreseeing this exact outcome on this timeline, my therapist reminds me that this is very consistent with all the reasons that I hated the new parent company coming into our lives in the first place. They’re callous, inefficient, incompetent, and entirely about money and power. I hated that at the start of my career, I hate it now at the end of this part of my career. I might be done with this industry. I’m good at my job but I’m terrible at the politics and you can’t survive in senior to executive leadership with my attitude towards politics (deep sincere loathing). I’m worse at tolerating incompetence, and it’s quite clear that that is the only way to thrive in this corporation and probably most others.
Year 7, Day 16: I’m less tired than yesterday but then burned some of that precious recovery going to my annual eye exam. I HATE eye exams. I always feel like I’m failing and this time, the results for the only test that I’m “good” at (the peripheral vision) were bad. The doc thinks that it was due to fogging in the visor thingie. We skipped the eye dilation in favor of the horribly blinding bright flash photos to view the optic nerves; that always makes me feel sick. The nausea wasn’t as strong as usual but it did leave me off kilter enough that, on my way home, I misjudged the distance to the curb and bounced off it a little bit. I almost panicked at the impact but managed to get myself into a parking spot safely. The rubber of the tire is a little chipped but I think it’s ok? I hope it is.
My mood isn’t good but the heaviness of yesterday eased up enough for me to do a handful of to-do items and that helps my mood immensely, generally. Submitted a praise nomination for an award for the compassionate nurse from last week. Submitted a change in camp schedule for JB. Submitted a request for a replacement debit card for PiC. Stopped by the bank and deposited cash from PiC’s recent sales.
Year 7, Day 17: I rescheduled one of JB’s camps for August to get around a schedule conflict. I hate how public school doesn’t just give us the whole year of scheduling in one go when most of these things that they give us so little notice for was set in stone for months! That’s going to cost a $25 cancellation fee which feels much less negligible then it used to feel. This reminds me I need to do an estimate of what camps that both kids might attend next summer to estimate what we should contribute to the 2027 FSA – best case scenario planning (assuming PiC still has his job in 2027) to go with my worst case scenario planning. I contain multitudes.
I’ve gone through our election ballot and selected most of our candidates for most position. I’m stewing over the governorship – why do we have SIXTY ONE candidates?? Argh. This is how we end up with a pair of Republicans in the general election! GRR.
Year 7, Day 18: A friend shared this cool site: https://reciprocard.com. You can check to see if you have reciprocal privileges at another library!
I spent 15 minutes looking at high-level job listings and have concluded I hate them all. I want to be independently wealthy, volunteer, and give my time and money to help people and animals.
MakeItSoPicard.gif.
We toured the middle school and the tour was led by sixth and seventh graders which was moderately annoying. We also didn’t get sufficient information on electives selection which I didn’t realize til long after we got home. SmolAc loved it because they snacked their way through the whole thing.
Year 7, Day 19: I’m feeling a lot like Stephen Colbert about my Schrodinger’s layoff: There are more important things in the worlds. I’m mostly concerned for my staff (and my financial future). I have no interest in litigating it at all. My colleagues/staff are all taking it really hard, and my primary job is to support them. Maybe I’m just numb (my instinctive coping mechanism), or being reasonably financially stable in a time of crisis for once (novel!), or because I’ve been through one of these already and they haven’t, or I know there’s simply no point in demanding to know why a corporation bought a perfectly good company only to strip it for parts. This happens all the time. Red Lobster. Party City. A hundred other companies I couldn’t recall off the top of my head. Private equity is of the devil and so is “line go up” corporate business management. It’s all the same: they only care about extracting value and kicking the husk into the corner.
I’ve always been at least a little fatalistic about the world and corporations specifically, so really, after I absorbed how quickly this went down, I also have no desire to prolong the pain by worrying over how and why they can be so terrible. Because they have continued to be awful, of course. My laser focus is on getting my staff taken care of and making sure they pay me every penny that they owe me before I get the hell out.
I give myself a little job hunting time every day, and a little do whatever the heck I want on my chore/to do list every day. I’ll start to volunteer at the local rescue soon because they have remote volunteering options!, to give myself a little joy in my life, to try to offset the weirdness of being unemployed when that final day comes. I also need to think of what to send each of my staff to personally thank them for their time and efforts since they started, for the last day. My old bosses sucked – they couldn’t even be bothered to take a minute to say goodbye to me when I left my last job to come work again for my Good Boss, I won’t have that last day go unremarked for my people no matter how this ship went down.
We’re all doing our best to cope with all the everything. Anxiety, depression, dread, (minor blips of relief from me), more anxiety. We’re all struggling to figure out next steps for ourselves, for our families.
I still haven’t told most people in my offline life. I don’t want to. I don’t want to think more about who I am without this job. I just want to be for a bit before I have to think about that.
Doesn’t mean I haven’t been hunting, I have. Sometimes for me, sometimes for the team, sometimes to just get the words I need to polish my resume some more.
